Not Again
by The Lonely Padawan
Summary: Gerry is standing in Time Square, remembering what happened a year ago, when Erik returns . . . with company. And they're NOT friendly. One has a spear, another has a club, and the last has fangs, and they're all looking for answers. DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUN!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One:

I sighed, standing in the middle of Time Square, exactly a year after the day my "twin" said goodbye and left my world.

I kind of wished, hoped beyond hope, that Erik would suddenly appear in a flash of white light. But he didn't.

That didn't stop me from hoping.

I rubbed my hands together, wanting desperately to see him and Christine, just one more time, that for some strange reason, he had to come back to this world, that he wanted to stay this time.

I was surprised to find my eyes stinging with tears, thinking about him. Erik, the Phantom of the Opera. A brother, a friend to me. I would probably never see him again.

He had children now. He and Christine had a pair of boy-girl twins, named after me and Emmy Rossum.

A small, feminine hand on my shoulder scared the living shit out of me, and I jumped, turning to see Emmy standing next to me.

Emmy had taken care of Christine for about a month before Erik came to me. We'd convinced her via snail mail to come to Time Square and bring Christine, whom we were just guessing was with her, and had been interrupted by Patrick Wilson and his counterpart, Raoul. Raoul had been publicly humiliated by everyone's favorite Opera Ghost (with the assistance of everyone's favorite Scottish actor [don't you just love me?]), and Christine had left with her hand in Erik's.

I smiled at Emmy, and looked up at the noon sky. "It's not the same since they left," I said, noting the storm-gray cloud coverage.

She shook her head in agreement. "It's like we've known them our entire life," she murmured.

I chuckled. "Technically, we have."

She wrinkled her nose. She looked kind of cute that way. "Yeah, but we're not looking at the technicalities here, are we?"

I laughed out loud at that.

Her hand dropped from my shoulder to my own. "Whaddaya say we go get some coffee?" she asked, looking into my eyes.

I smiled softly. "Sure."

Emmy grinned. "I know this great place downtown . . ."

As we turned to walk toward our favorite coffee shop, a bright light flashed behind us. Shocked, we glanced at each other before whirling around, and my heart stopped.

"Oh, _shit,_" I hissed, staring at the familiar man in front of us. He had a tall, muscular build, wearing leather (for lack of a better word) manties and a long, scarlet cape. He had short black hair except for a braid wrapped around his head and a long black beard.

He looked around, holding a spear in one hand and a shield in the other.

I almost started crying right there. "Not Leonidas!" I moaned, hitting my knees.

He turned to me, pointing the spear at my throat. "How do you know my name?" he asked. "Speak, man!"

I wailed to the heavens. "Why? Why do you hate me, God?" I shouted. "I asked for Erik, not Leonidas!"

Leonidas furrowed his eyebrows. "Where am I? Who are you?"

This time, I really, _really_ hoped I was crazy or dreaming instead of this being real. But, feeling the cold prick of the spearhead against the skin of my throat, I knew _that_ luxury was one I actually couldn't afford.

"Answer me or die!" Leonidas shouted.

Another flash of light, and I really did start crying that time.

He wasn't even a _man._ He was a CG animation.

Stoick the Vast looked up at Leonidas, who was still pointing the spear at me. "Hey!" he shouted. "Where am I?"

I wailed, pushing the spear away and kneeling down, beating my fists against the ground. "WHYYYYYY?" I shouted. "Why me? Why not George Clooney? Why can't these things happen to him?"

Another flash of light, and I didn't even look up. But, for a moment, I actually dared to hope as I heard the English accent.

"New York?" he said. I looked up, and for a moment, hoped to see the white mask. But I was not so fortunate. "I thought I was supposed to be in New Orleans!"

Dracula looked down at me, picked me up by the throat, and bared his fangs.  
"Speak, human!" he hissed.

"Hey!" Leonidas shouted, pointing the spear at him. "He's _ mine!"_

Stoick held his club ready. "I'll get a few answers outta him!" he growled.

I looked over at the silent and forgotten Emmy Rossum, who had gone pale. "Gerry?" she said softly, looking at me. "What's going on?"

I looked at her. "I'm being attacked by fictional characters I played in movies. One is a Spartan, one is a Viking, and one is a vampire. They are all very frightening and threatening to kill me. Meanwhile, I am very scared and secretly shitting my pants. What does it look like? Because, seriously, if you are asking 'What's going on?', I wanna know why it's not obvious."

I was in deep shit.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Really short, just to establish what happens in the story. Erik is on his way, folks, don't worry! He will save the day!**

Chapter Two:

Dracula's eyes glanced from me to Emmy, and they widened with fascination. He dropped me and walked over to her, leaving me at the mercy of a Spartan and a Viking.

If anyone finds me normally charming and attractive, me with white makeup and, of course, vampiric charm is pretty much unstoppable.

He had her hypnotized as Leonidas and Stoick watched, too curious as to what the hell he was doing to care about me.

"What's your name?" he asked, smirking.

Emmy didn't stand a chance. "Emmy," she said dreamily.

He smiled wider, displaying abnormally sharp incisors. "Emmy," he repeated, taking her hand and kissing it. "Why don't you come with me, Emmy?"

"Don't you _dare!" _I shouted.

Dracula spun, rushing at me, suddenly grabbing my throat. He smiled evilly. "Don't what?" he asked, his smile triumphant. "Don't . . . bite her?"

I tried to fight against him. Leonidas and Stoick glanced at each other and shrugged, apparently deciding to see how this would play out.

Dracula let me go and walked back over to Emmy, still entranced by his spell. "Come with me, Emmy," he said, taking her hand and walking into the city. I suddenly remembered it was daytime and wondered why he wasn't on fire. I looked up.

It was about to rain. Shit. He wasn't going to burn if he wasn't in the sun.

I tried to stand, and Leonidas jerked me up. "It seems that you are in need of assistance," he said, looking in the direction that Dracula had just left. "What does he plan to do with her?"

I sighed, defeated. "He's going to . . . make her a slave, of sorts." I knew he would understand that one.

His face got angry. He shook his head. "That will not happen if I have anything to say about it," he said. "I stand for all free men and women. That man—creature—will not get away with this."

I was almost happy enough to cry. Leonidas was on my team. Holy shit.

Stoick nodded. "He's right. No one deserves to be a slave. Especially not a woman."

Add a Viking to that list.

Great. It's an actor, a Spartan, and a really stubborn Viking against the first vampire ever who, by the way, cannot be killed.

We're doomed.

Another flash of light, and I wondered this time if it was going to be Archie Brown and if he had come from the scene where I had actually developed hypothermia. Great. Just great. A naked Scottish guy would totally make my—

"Gerry?" a familiar voice said. I almost cried. Really. With happiness.

"ERIK!" I shouted, running over to him, wrapping him in a hug. "Oh, God, you're here! Dracula kidnapped Emmy and he's threatening to turn her into a vampire!"

"Wait a moment, slow down," Erik said, holding me away. "Someone took Emmy?"

"Not just someone," I said, frantic. "A vampire. A very powerful vampire that I played in the movie _Dracula 2000._ And he's going to bite Emmy! If we don't stop him, she'll be a vampire by the end of the night!"

Erik's eyebrows furrowed together. "We have to stop him."

"Um, duh!" I shouted. I looked around. Leonidas and Stoick were just standing there, staring at us.

I was really, really glad no one was paying attention to us. A man in leather underwear and a cape, and a CG animation were staring at us, standing in the middle of Time Square.

"But first," I said, taking a deep breath, "we need to get to my house."

I really, really hoped I could find some way to make them fit into reality.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I am so, so, so, so, soooooo terribly sorry I haven't updated recently. I've been in Gatlinburg, Tennessee, and I have been ripping my hair out because my last update was July 7th. I have been anxious to get home and update, and I just got home today. Thank you for your patience. :)**

Chapter Three:

I grabbed the coat off of Erik and threw it on Stoick, then took off my own and gave it to Leonidas, then took his , folding it into a bundle.

"Hey!" all three shouted.

"Trust me, I know what I'm doing." I looked around, then motioned for them all to follow me.

"Why is it so cold here?" Leonidas asked. "What are those towers and walls? What is this place?"

"New York City. It's colder here than it is in Greece because we're farther north. And those 'towers' are skyscrapers. Buildings that people live and work in. Now come on. I need to take you guys back to my place and make you look normal."

"I already look normal," Erik scoffed. "I wore the trousers you gave me."

I stopped them as people went by. "Erik," I hissed, "hide Leonidas so people don't see his butt."

"Why me?" Erik whined.

"Because you look normal. Do it."

It was a long, agonizing ten minutes before we finally made it to my home. I shooed them all inside before locking the door and closing all the curtains.

"Okay," I said, leading Leonidas and Stoick to my room. "Leonidas, put these jeans on and this shirt." I tossed him a pair of faded jeans with holes cut in the knees and a black band T-shirt.

"How do you put these on?" he asked, holding out the jeans.

I groaned. No way was I helping him into a pair of pants. No way, no how.

_You said the same thing about being a fanboy and finding Emmy,_ a little voice in the back of my head whispered. I mentally whacked it with Stoick's club.

That was a completely different story.

I sighed. "You undo the button here, then unzip them, then pull them on. Make sure the button and zipper are in front. Then redo the button and zipper. Ta-da."

He still had trouble, and I groaned. _I give up,_ I thought.

"Here," I knelt in front of him, blushing deep cherry-red as I did so, then helped him pull up the jeans. This was incredibly embarrassing.

I finally stood, and Stoick looked uncomfortable. I groaned.

"What, do you need help pulling on pants, too?" I growled. "Because once is enough for me!"

Erik snickered from the doorway. "You look pissed," he remarked.

"Oh, don't you even start!" I wagged a finger at him accusingly, raising my eyebrows in that fashion that used to intimidate him. Not anymore.

He flopped onto my bed without reserve, picking up a TV remote and switching the screen on.

Leonidas and Stoick were instantly fascinated by it. "What is this device?" the Spartan king asked, walking over to it.

"It's called a television," Erik explained before I could open my mouth. "Using it, people in this world can watch movies and TV shows that involve us and other characters. It sends little pictures of us from our different worlds and projects them on the screen. Look." He paused, pressing a button. The TV guide came up, and he searched for a bit until he found a channel showing _300._ "Recognize anybody?"

Leonidas was kneeling before Xerxes in the movie, and he shouted to one of his soldiers. Stelios leapt over Leonidas, plunging his blade deep into a Persian.

"What madness is this?" Stoick said, pointing.

"What in the name of the gods . . ." Leonidas whispered, touching the TV screen with his fingertips. "What sorcery or magic created this instrument?" He whirled, meeting my gaze.

I shrugged. "He seems to know more about it than I do." I pointed to Erik as I spoke. "Surprising, since _I'm_ the one who actually _lives_ here." I glared pointedly at him. "How do you know so much about this kind of thing? When you came here last time, you thought people were trapped inside the box!"

Erik laughed. "I've been here many times since our last adventure. Remember the photograph? That was the tenth time I'd journeyed here. I brought Christine as well, countless other times, for what you here call a 'date'."

My brows furrowed together. "You mean you came here and didn't even bother to drop by? Not even for a fucking 'hello'?" I took the remote out of his hand, clicking the TV off. "You say that when you brought me the photo of you and your family, that was the tenth time you had come here, and you didn't even bother to let me know that you still existed? That you were happy and married to Christine? You didn't come by to make sure I, myself, was still doing okay?"

He looked hurt, sitting up. "I didn't think . . ."

"What didn't you think, Erik?" I tossed the remote into the corner in a fit of rage. "You didn't think I'd care?"

He looked away in shame.

I laughed with anger, not humor. It was dark and soulless, not something I'd ever done before. "You thought I wouldn't give a damn about the person I thought of as my _best friend?_ About the two I considered _family?"_ I snorted, dropping my hands to my sides. "No, Erik. You didn't think."

"I'm sorry." He apologized, and I shook my head.

"Damn it, Erik, sorry isn't enough!" I strode over to him, pulling him into a tight hug, tears spilling from my eyes. "I missed you, you arrogant son of a bitch," I hissed, my arms around his shoulders. "I've been going to Time Square for a year now, every day, waiting for you to come back, and when you do, you don't bother to come visit me? That's cruel."

By this point, we had completely forgotten Stoick and Leonidas existed in our world. We were too busy acting like long-lost brothers (which we sort of were) and making up to remember they were there.

"I'm sorry, Gerry," Erik sobbed. "I missed you so much. I couldn't bear it. I thought you had forgotten the whole ordeal, thought you had written it off as a dream. I thought you had forgotten me."

I pulled away to look into his eyes. "Erik, you son of a bitch, if you say one more time that there is even a possibility of me forgetting about you, I will strangle you with your own Punjab lasso and hang you from the Empire State Building."

He laughed, and it wasn't long before I was laughing with him.

"Yes, this is all very touching and everything, but aren't we forgetting something very important?" Stoick asked, jolting us back into reality.

My eyes widened. "Shit!" I hissed. "Emmy. Dracula still has her."

"Yes, what are we going to do about this Dracula fiend?" Stoick asked. "I'm ready to hit 'him with me club!"

I smiled sympathetically. "Stoick, dear, a club doesn't do much against an indestructible vampire."

An idea came to me, and I felt giddy all of a sudden. "Oh, man!" I hissed, my hands shaking with excitement. "I have to find Jason Scott Lee!"

**A/N: Who is Jason Scott Lee, you might ask, if you haven't heard of him (though you probably have if you're a Bruce Lee fan)? Well, see he played Father Ufizzi, a vampire hunter for the Vatican, in the sequel to _Dracula 2000._ Unfortunately, _Dracula: Ascension_ didn't have His Sexiness—instead, Dracula's legend was altered so that he changed his appearance every time he 'regenerated.' Basically, just a convenient excuse for when you can't get the same actor, _non?_ But anyways, Ufizzi was absolutely _boss._ Unstoppable. RAWR. :3**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I know, deja vu, right? Kind of reminiscent of the whole Emmy/Christine ordeal in chapter 5 of "The Twin Brother I Never Had." Oh, well. :P**

Chapter Four:

Jason gave Father Ufizzi a cup of ramen. "Here. Help yourself," he said, taking his own pair of chopsticks.

"Thank you for your patience, Mr. Lee," the priest/vampire hunter said. "Once I find a way back to my own world, I will trouble you no more."

"It's fine," Jason said, waving a hand. "God, it's like looking into a mirror every time I look at you!"

The priest glanced up, wagging a finger very parent-like. "Don't say the Lord's name in vain, Mr. Lee," he warned.

Jason rolled his eyes when his double looked away. "Okay. So how did you get here? What part of the movie was it when you realized you weren't there anymore?"

The priest frowned, trying to remember. "I was right at the point where I was trying to rip Dracula's head off, I think," he said, staring off into space.

Jason nodded. "Interesting. You know, he dies in the next movie. It's so lame. It's not even Stephen Billington, you know?"

Father Ufizzi looked at him strangely. "Who?"

"Oh, right. Stephen Billington played Dracula in the one you came from, and Rutger Hauer played the one in the movie that came after that one. It didn't make any sense at all. It was incredibly lame."

Ufizzi pushed his untouched ramen away and placed his chin in his hand.

The phone suddenly rang, and Jason jumped up to answer it.

"Hello?" he said into the phone, wondering who on Earth could be calling during his lunch break.

"Jason Scott Lee?" a familiar voice asked.

"Yes. Who is speaking?"

"Gerry Butler. You don't know me. I got your number from Wes Craven."

"Oh, Gerry, right, you played in _Dracula 2000._" Jason smiled. "What's up? Why are you calling me?"

"I need to know something. This is gonna sound crazy, but has Father Ufizzi shown up at your place recently?"

Jason took a step back, glancing at the priest at his kitchen table. "What the hell are you talking about, Gerry?" he asked quietly, taking the cordless phone into the other room.

"Answer the damn question."

Jason sighed. "I don't know what you're talking about, Gerry. I really don't." Lying was too easy when you were talking on the phone.

"Jason, Dracula has kidnapped Emmy Rossum and he is threatening to turn her into a vampire." Gerry chuckled. "I know it sounds crazy as hell, but you've got to trust me on this."

Jason gulped. "I trust you, Gerry," he whispered, glancing back toward the kitchen. "Yeah. Ufizzi's here. Where do you want to meet up?"

"Time Square at three today."

"Shit," Jason hissed. "I can't. I'm performing at a theater in Cincinatti tonight and I have to rehearse right after lunch."

"Dammit, Jason, this can't wait until after your fucking performance! If Dracula turns her into a vampire I don't think he's gonna get all compassionate and release her like he did Mary in the fucking movie!" Gerry sighed from the other line. "Send him here by himself."

"No way!" Jason shouted.

"He's from modern times, he can take care of himself." He hesitated for a moment. "Unlike some of the people I have to harbor in my home right now. _Leonidas, get off the fucking table!"_

Jason blinked, holding the phone away from his ear as Gerry apparently shouted to King Leonidas ans Stoick the Vast.

"What the hell is going on, Gerry?" he asked once he had finished shouting with a sigh.

"Look, a bunch of characters from my movies are suddenly coming to life and giving me hell. King Leonidas popped up in the middle of Time Square in a red cape and leather underwear, and Stoick the Vast, who is animated, by the way, popped up right after him. _Erik, control the damn Spartan!_ Oh, and this all started about a year ago when the Phantom of the Opera needed my help in locating Christine, who had somehow gotten stuck here and had been living with Emmy for about a month. And that's how we got our asses stuck in this stupid-fucking-situation." Gerry seemed to like the word 'fucking' a lot, Jason noticed.

He sighed. "Okay. I'll buy him a ticket on the first flight to New York. Be watching for him." He craned his neck to look at the priest, who was standing in the sunlight from a window. "Make sure he doesn't go all vamp on you, 'kay?"

"I will. Just send him, for Christ's sake. _Stoick, if you don't—DAMN IT ERIK, I _TOLD _YOU TO CONTROL THE SPARTAN!" _He sighed heavily again. "Just . . . try not to get him lost or anything. Make sure he arrives in New York."

"Will do, Gerry," Jason agreed before pressing the red END button.


	5. Chapter 5

**Gerry: As it seems our author is running around in circles and laughing maniacally, it's up to Erik and I to present this chapter.**

**Erik: Yes, it would seem so . . . Leonidas, try to get her to calm down for a few moments.**

**Gerry: You see, dear Onyxx found her grandma's hidden stash of homemade chocolate from the Smoky Mountains, and, well, this is the result.**

**Leonidas: OUCH! She BIT me!**

**Erik: Ooh, that looks painful . . .**

**Gerry: Sit on her if you have to!**

**Onyxx: OOF. You're fat.**

**(Leonidas looks hurt)**

**Onyxx: I'm sorry! (hugs) I didn't mean it!**

**Erik: Let's get on with the story, shall we?**

**Gerry: Yeah, good idea. Chapter Five, everyone!**

Chapter Five:

I pursed my lips, drumming my fingers against the hard wooden bench.

He was supposed to be here by now.

Erik was calmly and patiently explaining to Leonidas why he can't run around and inspect everything, and Stoick was snoring loudly with his head tilted back.

"Gerard Butler?" a voice said. I looked up.

An Asian man in a black trenchcoat with clerical robes stood before us, holding a briefcase in one hand. I felt like hugging him right there and then.

"Oh, thank God!" I said, jumping up and shaking his hand. "It's you! It's really you!" And then, I actually did hug him.

He furrowed his brow in confusion. "I'm sorry, am I supposed to be familiar with you?" he asked.

"No." I shook my head. "You don't know me, but I know you. I'm Gerry, a friend of Jason's, and I need your help. Dracula has escaped the fantasy world and he's kidnapped a friend of mine, threatening to turn her into a vampire. If we don't stop him, all hell will break loose on New York."

"Despite the fact I disapprove of your language, I agree with you there," Father Ufizzi said. "Where is he now?"

"We have absolutely no idea. He's probably waiting until tonight to turn her." I paced, unable to control my anxiety. If we didn't act soon, my best friend was gonna become a vampire. Not only a vampire, but Dracula's bride. I shuddered at the thought of poor Emmy, being forced to succumb to Dracula's uncanny charm and . . .

I mentally grabbed Stoick's club and whacked myself in the head with it. Mentally, because, at the moment, his club was in my home.

Erik put a comforting arm around my shoulders as I slumped in my seat.

Father Ufizzi frowned. "I have more than enough time to track him. In the meantime, you all should go home and wait for me to contact you."

"Be sure not to kill him," Erik said. "We have no idea what will happen if one of us dies while in this world."

"That's a good point," Father Ufizzi agreed. He sighed. "All right. We meet at Time Square tonight at sunset. I will have Dracula by then, and I will bring him for you to decide his fate." With a bow, he walked out of the airport, leaving me and Erik to deal with Leonidas and Stoick.

I was really tempted to chase after him, offer to hunt Dracula myself, and have _him_ tend to the Spartan and thr Viking.

I sighed, standing. "Come on. Time to go. We're going home and waiting for Father Ufizzi's call, then we head back to Time Square and send you all home."

Erik nodded. There was a troubled look on his face, a shadow in his eyes that worried me for a minute. It was gone in a moment, but it still troubled me.

"All right, kids," I groaned, very tempted to rub my sore butt, stiff from sitting so long on the hard airport bench. "Time to go."

It was gonna be a long day.


	6. Chapter 6

**Gerry: Again, it's up to me to present the next chapter . . . **

**Leonidas: Don't forget me!**

**Gerry: Well, me and Leonidas.**

**Ufizzi: Ahem.**

**Gerry: (with a sigh) And Father Ufizzi.**

**Stoick: Forgetting someone?**

**Gerry: OKAY, I GET IT, YOU ALL WANT TO HELP INTRODUCE CHAPTER SIX! Seriously, BACK OFF.**

**Erik: Sorry, everyone, Gerry's just being a jerk because Onyxx suggested that Emmy actually become a vampire, then turn him into one, too.**

**Gerry: Which wouldn't be as terrible if we were talking about the vampires she puts in her own stories, which still have their souls if they don't kill.**

**Ufizzi: Pshuh. Impossible.**

**Gerry: _ You're one to talk. Anyway, she felt as though she really had nothing to say, so she left it to _me_ to put the notes in.**

**Erik: Us.**

**Gerry: SHUT IT.**

**Leonidas: On with the chapter . . .**

Chapter Six:

Scanning the darkness with keen eyes, Ufizzi raised his blade, gently pushing the door open further with his foot. A small movement to his left caught his eye, and he whirled around quickly to cut off his head.

"So, he's been spreading the curse while he's here," he said softly to himself. "Looks like I'm going to have to clean up after him."

"Cleaning up after me?" The voice came from further into the apartment, and lights flashed on over Ufizzi's head.

Dracula stood tall in a doorway. Ufizzi recognized Gerry's face on the monster, and knew instantly it was this man he was supposed to bring back.

Ufizzi prepared to strike, but the vampire held up a finger. "Wait," he said, his sensual lips curved in an arrogant smirk. "Don't you want to make sure she's alive?"

Narrowing his eyes, Ufizzi took a cautious step forward.

Dracula's face turned into the epitome of innocence. "You don't trust me, Father?" he said, tilting his head to the side. "And I thought we'd be friends when this was over." With a sigh, he added, "Silly me."

Ufizzi followed his hand into the bedroom, where a pale—but still alive and human—Emmy Rossum lay on the bed, unconscious.

"A bargaining chip," Ufizzi realized, turning to his foe. "What was your plan for her?"

"I came here to find some way of assuring my safety back in the fantasy world," he said, examining his fingernails casually. "I had thought, perhaps, that if I took a hostage from the real world, Simon, Mary, and I could come to some sort of agreement." He looked up for a second, then smirked. "But it wasn't them he sent, was it? He brought you. Why?"

"Because I am the one that kills you in the end," Ufizzi said, remembering what Jason had told him. "A priest and a vampire hunter in the same package. Now's the time to confess, Judas, and ask God for His forgiveness."

Dracula's face became dark and angry. "His _forgiveness?"_ he hissed. "As if He'd have me!"

"God loves all His children, Judas," Ufizzi said softly, preparing to strike with his blade—not to kill, but at least incapacitate. "Even you."

Dracula smiled again, displaying his cruelly curved fangs. "Well, then. I suppose I'd better get started then, shouldn't I?"

He grabbed the priest by the throat. "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned," he hissed, throwing him into the wall. "I gave Jesus Christ up to His enemies." He grabbed Ufizzi again.

He tried to pry Dracula's hand away from his throat, but was not successful.

"I've killed many thousands of men and women." Dracula threw him down, slamming him into the floor.

He took Ufizzi by the throat again, lifting him into the air, his fangs flashing in the moonlight as his eyes turned blood-red. "And now . . ." He smiled ruthlessly, bringing his lips to the priest's neck. "I've killed a priest."

**Gerry: (sniffles)**

**Erik: What's wrong?**

**Gerry: Nothing.**

**Onyxx: Liar.**

**Gerry: Excuse me?**

**Erik: Bad liar.**

**Gerry: …... Leave me alone!**

**Erik: Gerry . . . are you upset?**

**Gerry: (sniffle) No . . .**

**Onyxx: You _LIE._**

**Erik: Gerry, you're a terrible liar.**

**Gerry: I'm not _upset!_**

**Erik: Then why are you crying?**

**Gerry: I'm _NOT_ crying!**

**Onyxx: Then what is that water running down your face? Are you _leaking?_**

**Gerry: _ ….. Maybe.**

**Erik: OH! I know!**

**Onyxx: Share.**

**Erik: I can't . . . I dun wanna give away the ending . . .**

**Onyxx: O_O Ohhhhhh! I get it! Gerry, are you crying because of the ending? Is it _that _terrible?**

**Gerry: I'm not upset, I'm happy! These are tears of joy!**

**Erik: (snicker) Yeah, Ger, we all know why.**

**Leonidas: I don't.**

**Onyxx: Well, that's because you aren't at the ending, sweetie. I just told Erik because . . . well . . . he kept bugging me about it. _**

**Gerry: (hugs) Thank you SOOOO much! I wuvs yooh! (kisses Onyxx like he kissed Theresa in _Bounty Hunter_)**

**Onyxx: O.O ... Can I have my gum back?**

**(Gerry pops gum into her mouth . . . with another quick kiss)**

**Erik: I think you just made her day.**

**Dracula: Dude. You just made her _century._**


	7. Chapter 7

**Gerry: Unfortunately, Onyxx has a massive headache from being forced to listen to Justin Bieber on the drive to her grandma's this morning, so she probably won't be saying much.**

**Erik: Poor girl.**

**Gerry: I know, right? Anyways, she would like to thank each and every last one of you for your kind words and gives you all metaphorical hugs.**

**Erik: Except me. :(**

**Gerry: (sigh) What did you do now?**

**Erik: I may or may not have shouted the lyrics to "Baby" in her ear . . .**

**Gerry: You idiot.**

Chapter Seven:

I dragged the old man behind me, praying I wasn't too late.

The apartment.

The dead vampire in the corner.

Bloody footprints toward the bedroom.

"Come on!" I pulled him along with me.

"And now—"I recognized that voice—"I've killed a priest."

Too late.

I ran in, pointing the old-fashioned, long-muzzled pistol high. The silver stake/bullet-thing went right through his shoulder and broke the window. Dracula cried out in pain, dropping Ufizzi on the floor.

Thank God. No blood.

Dracula whirled to face me, his eyes angry and bloody red.

Ufizzi lay on the floor, gasping for breath.

Abraham Van Helsing/Christopher Plummer pushed me out of the way, pointing the shotgun right at his heart.

"No!" I shouted, pushing the barrel of the gun away just as he pulled the trigger. The silver thing hit Dracula's leg instead.

He cried out with pain, and Van Helsing turned to me with Satan's wrath on his face. "Are you out of your _mind?"_ he growled.

"Don't kill him!" I hissed. "I thought we had an agreement!"

"Did you think agreements would matter when he's trying to kill again?" Van Helsing shook his head and raised the gun again.

I pushed it down. "Incapacitate. Not kill."

He scoffed. "You're being absurd." When he aimed the gun a third time I took it out of his hands.

"No," I said softly. "I'm doing what's right."

"He _must_ die!" Van Helsing insisted.

"And he will. Let things take their natural course in the fiction world." I dropped the gun on the floor and walked over to my not-so-friendly double lifting him onto my shoulder for support. "Come on," I said softly, helping him stand. "Let me help you."

Pride flashed in his eyes and he tried to wrench away before his leg gave out beneath him. He gripped my shoulder tightly, then looked into my eyes with distrust.

"I'm helping you," I said, trying to get him to understand.

"Why?" He looked confused. "Why would you help me?"

I paused a moment to think. "Because," I finally said hesitantly. "It's what's right. And anyway, it would kinda be not helping myself, so . . ." With a shrug and a lopsided smile, I helped him walk to the door. "There's a car waiting outside for us. Come on, I'll help you get to it."

Ufizzi and Abraham walked behind us slowly, distrusting not only my judgement (which I prayed was right), but also Dracula's inability to walk. I was praying he wouldn't latch onto my neck the moment we were in the car.

But he didn't. Dracula allowed himself to be helped the entire way. Only when he clutched the door for support did he let go of me.

Once inside, he jerked the silver thing out of his leg. It his the floor with a _thud_, and I picked it up. His eyes narrowed suspiciously, and I held it up casually.

"Souvenir," I said, putting it in my pocket. As if that explained anything. I, myself, didn't know why I wanted to keep it.

Ufizzi made sure I was okay and ordered Abraham to watch Dracula in case he tried to do "something unsavory" and went back in for Emmy. He carried her out and was just wondering what to do with her when I took her from him.

"I'll hold her," I said softly. She was still unconscious, and I held her in my lap the entire drive, praying she was all right. There were no bite marks on her neck, but I was sure if they had been there, they would have faded by now. I hoped not.

Dracula eyed me as I stared at her face. "You love her," he said, tilting his head to the side curiously.

I smiled sadly. "Yeah," I admitted. "A lot."

"This is all quite touching, but how are we supposed to get home?" Ufizzi asked.

"The others are all waiting in Times Square," I said. "Erik says that's where the 'hole in the fabric separating our worlds' is. He'll tell you how to return."

I felt Emmy stir in my arms. She groaned, her eyes fluttering open, then staring into mine. Confused, she smiled softly before joking, "I think I'm dead. I'm in the arms of an angel."

I chuckled. Dracula smiled sadly as he watched the two of us.

We left the car at my place and walked the rest of the way. Dracula could now walk on his own, so I helped Emmy stand. Once I was sure she could walk on her own, we met Erik, Stoick, and Leonidas next to a building.

I felt some kind of foreboding nip at the back of my neck. For some strange reason, I felt like this was the end.

Erik opened his mouth to speak, but a small tremor beneath our feet stopped him. It knocked Emmy off balance and me on my ass.

Erik's eyes went wide. "The hole!" he shouted. "It's mending!"

"What the hell does that mean?" I asked, standing up only to be knocked back down.

"It means that if we don't move our asses, we'll be left behind!" He turned to the others. "You will feel a force pulling you forward. Do not fight it! Walk in the direction you're being pulled."

"What then?" Stoick shouted.

"You will feel a massive amount of pain, like you're being crushed."

A few eyes widened in terror. Not Leonidas of course. He had already started walking. Pain, schmain.

"Go, go!" Erik ordered. He turned back to me, tears in his eyes. "Gerry!" he shouted. "I'm staying behind!"

"No the hell you're not!" I hugged him one last time. "You have a family to take care of. Christine and the kids need you."

Tears fell down his good cheek and stained his mask as he turned, leading the group into oblivion.

Leonidas and Erik were the first to disappear, then Ufizzi, Abraham, and Stoick.

The bright light flared brighter than ever as it took Dracula, then vanished forever.

"They're gone." Emmy had tears in her eyes as she spoke. "Gone for good."

I pulled her close, and she cried on my shoulder. The lump in my throat got bigger as I tried to suppress the tears of not seeing my best friend ever again.

"Thank you for coming to rescue me," Emmy whispered.

I smiled sadly. "I couldn't let that bastard put his hands on you without a fight."

She laughed.

"Listen . . ." I began, unsure for once. "If you want you can stay at my place tonight."

She smiled. "I'd like that."

We chatted as we walked, and I demanded to know what had happened when Dracula took her. She told me that he was "quite hospitable" and, though he didn't let her out of the apartment and had another vampire guard the door, he didn't try to bite her or touch her. For that, I was quite thankful.

She was _my_ Emmy.

I unlocked the door and let her in first. She rubbed the chill out of her arms and turned to face me.

"Gerry," she said, walking forward, "how can I ever repay you?"

I laughed. "Repay me? Come on, love. It's what friends are for."

She raised an eyebrow. "Just friends?" she asked. "Or are we something more?"

I babbled for a bit about how we didn't have to be if she didn't wanna be before she kissed me. It was quite an effective way of getting me to shut up for a while.

Pulling away, I put on my most seductive smile. "Well, there is _one_ way you can pay me back for rescuing you . . ." I let the sentence trail off, and she took my hand, dragging me up the stairs.

* * *

Epilogue:

I looked at the headline on the paper from so long ago. "Inexplicable Earthquake in Times Square."

"Inexplicable" my ass.

Erik James Butler tugged on my sleeve, looking up at me. "Daddy," he said, reaching up for me to hold him.

I chuckled and pulled the boy into my lap. "What is it this time?" I asked, pretending to be annoyed.

"Can you read me a story?" Those chocolate brown eyes were so hard to resist. Em looked at me the same way, usually when she was asking for my credit card.

I smiled and nodded. "What do you want me to read, Erik?" I asked, holding his hand as he led me up the stairs.

He held up a book. "This one."

I smiled. "That's not really a book, son," I said, taking it anyway. "It's not one to read. It's a scrapbook."

I opened the cover, sitting on the bed. Little Christine Grey was in her crib, snoring quietly.

I showed him the first photo. "This is me and your mommy on our first date," I explained. Em and I sat at a dinner table in a dimly lit restaurant. Some paparazzi had taken this photo. Em found it on the Internet and put it in our scrapbook.

He wrinkled his nose. "Ew."

I laughed, pointing to the next one. "This is us at our wedding. See, right there is Grandma." I pointed to my mother.

He smiled.

The next one was Emmy and me for a magazine photo shoot. By that time, our son was growing in her womb. "See, right there, Mommy and I were expecting you." I smiled ruffling the five-year-old's dark brown hair.

The next hour was filled with me telling my son stories of he and Em and I, stories from before he could remember.

At last, we reached the final photo.

"Daddy, why isn't this photo of you and Mommy in color?" he asked.

I smiled sadly. "That's not me and Mommy," I said, hugging him close. "That's my twin brother and her twin sister."

I stroked the photo of Erik and Christine with my index finger.

"I didn't know you and Mommy had twins," he said, looking up at me.

I looked at him. "They died a long time ago," I said, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"How long ago?" Erik James looked into my eyes imploringly.

"A really long time ago." I smiled and ruffled his hair again, then pulled the covers back on the bed. "Come on. Time to go to sleep. You have your first day of kindergarten tomorrow."

Smiling, he let me kiss his forehead and tuck him in before instantly falling asleep.

I walked over to Chris's crib and kissed my infant daughter on the forehead, too. "Goodnight, princess."

I left the door open a crack and walked into my bedroom, where Em waited, reading _Phantom of the Opera_ for the umpteenth time. She looked up expectantly as I slid in next to her, then smiled.

"Did he give you a hard time?" she asked.

"He wanted me to read him a story." I sighed and turned the lamp on my side off.

Her eyes widened. "Oh? And what did you read to him?"

I looked into her eyes, then kissed her lips softly. "I showed him our scrapbook. He asked me why the photo of Erik and Christine wasn't in color, thinking it was us."

She laughed. "Aww." I saw the sadness in her eyes even after she had dog-eared the page and turned off her lamp.

An hour after she had finally fallen asleep, I lay awake still, remembering the way Erik had shouted at me, wanting to stay.

I knew I would never see him again. But I still felt him with me, every time I looked at that photo. Erik whatever-his-last-name-was was my brother, always had been. Not just a double or a character I had played in a movie.

He was a true friend.


End file.
